emotional intelligence 5 Ways to Stop Letting Fear Dictate Your Life

5 Ways to Stop Letting Fear Dictate Your Life


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Fear is such a liar. Have you ever heard the acronym for fear?





Fear tries to convince us of worst-case scenarios. What if you fail, what if they don’t like you, what if you get embarrassed, what if you’ll never find happiness?

Take a moment today to honestly reflect on how many times you revert to a fearful/negative thought, make fear-based decisions, or answer a question or invite with a response based out of fear.

We need to stop letting fear dictate our lives.

I don’t even want to count the opportunities I passed up because of my fear of failing. Or the toxic relationships I subjected myself to, thinking – from a place of fear – that was what I deserved.

Sound familiar? In some form, we’ve all been there. So, then the burning question remains: How to overcome fear?

Face Your Fear

This year began with my life as I knew it being pulled out from under me. Moving, ending a relationship I thought would turn into marriage, losing my elderly cat a few weeks later, my grandmother having a stroke, and me finding a lump in my breast (which thankfully turned out to be a cyst).

The list went on. I was broken, I felt so very defeated by life, and everything terrified me.

The things we convince ourselves of – out of fear – are astounding.

It took a few months of self-reflection, pitchers of sangria, and finally acceptance, before I was able to sort through the mess in my head and heart, figure it out, and let that shit go.

The things we convince ourselves of – out of fear – are astounding. And if we want to start living our lives (truly living) and finding our full potential, we need to learn how to move past the fear.

As Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem in the same mind state that created it.” Don’t run from your fear. To move beyond it, you must first face it. You must learn how to overcome fear.

How to Overcome Fear: 5 Tips

Here are five ways you can let go of fear and start living boldly, proudly, and courageously:

1. Replace Fear-Based “What If” Questions

Swap out your fear questions with positive reinforcement questions. Fear makes you ask questions like “What if I mess up?” or “What if I’m not good enough?”

Replace the fear-based insecurity with, “What if I do even better than I could’ve imagined?” and, “What if everyone loves me and I find a whole new tribe?” You attract the energy you emit, so why not choose to emit positive reinforcing thoughts?

2. Don’t Run From Fear

Running away from your fear, or trying to hide from it or deny it is the least productive thing you can do. It can lead to patterns that result in “destination addiction” – running from one relationship to another, from one job to the next, one fad to another – because something about these things scared you.

You assume that “next time” it will be better, and you’ll find the answer, but then you wonder why the cycle continues.

3. Explore Your Fear

Where is this feeling coming from? Don’t blame whatever is in front of you – dig deep inside yourself, filter through the bullshit you’ve been telling yourself to validate this behavior, and find the underlying cause.

It will be difficult, but you have the ability to be honest with yourself, and when you are, you can uncover the root of your fear and then you can work on how to overcome fear that is deeply rooted within you.

4. Do Things That Scare You

Begin to factor into your life, little by little, the things that would usually scare you. I don’t mean jumping out of airplanes, or doing anything reckless. I mean take yourself out for dinner – just you. Go to the gym, and give zero f*cks about what the people around you may think.

Small actions to reinforce that you are bigger than your fear are a great way to discover how to overcome fear in your life.

5. Show Yourself Some Love

Sure this may sound cliché, but we all have those days when we feel unlovable or full of self-doubt. But when we love ourselves and really cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves, fear no longer has such a hold on our lives.

With a healthy dose of self-love, fear cannot rob us of potential relationships, careers, experiences, and moments. With self-love comes confidence, passion, self-respect, and courage.

How to Overcome Fear: The Takeaway

Those bad fear-based decisions will decrease, the feelings of inadequacy will dissolve, and what may seem like rejection becomes just a difference of opinion.

Should you catch yourself in a questionable moment, ask yourself “Do I want to make this decision out of fear? Or out of love?” There are only two choices.

Remember, “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” – Jim Carrey

Please, choose love. You deserve it.

Still not sure how to overcome fear? What Jim Carrey Explains In 1 Minute Will Change Your Life Forever (Video)

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